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[ everything behind me seems so insignificant / lost in my confusion ]

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Paola Bautista. Par. DLSU-Taft. Ab-PHM. 19 yrs old. Feb. 27, 1987.

ym: pawluh15

http://par2x.multiply.com

email: paolabautista@gmail.com

my life

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- Maple
- Franz
- Teenuh
- Carlo
- Giselle
- Mhijz
- Chast
- Ellen
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Summer `05
Changes
Thankful
Last day of GE
g4 adventure
Bday treat #1
Black and white sunset
Movieeee
What a day!

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Monday, November 7

I really wanted to make other people happy lalo na ang close friends ko. I don't care if they would be making fun of me or what basta i just want them to be happy. Pero there are times na ako na din yung nahihirapan.. nasasaktan.. yes, gusto ko masaya sila but i can't control my emotions. There are times na aasarin nila ako and stuff like that, ok lang sa akin but minsan medyo nakakasakit na din. Pero the thing is that a part of me gusto lang itago kung ano ung nararamdaman ko. Maybe its just that ayoko lang ipakita na nasasaktan na ko or na weak ako sa mga asar nila kasi if sasabihin ko yun, anong mangyayari? im just afraid that they might take it against me. Baka isipin nila napipikon na ko or what... Then baka may magbago ng treatment and it may not be for the better. There's a time na alam nilang natatakot ako na may magalit sakin especially kung isa sa kanila then ayun.. niloloko pa din nila ako.. hindi lang siguro nila alam na deep inside hindi na talaga ako mapakali.. deep inside super wo-worry na ako.. Pero sige ok lang.. Basta masaya sila ok na ko. kaya dito ko na lang binubuhos lahat.. :) ill just continue wearing my mask...

Parsky Doodledoo needed you at 10:44 PM

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